another day
Posted by dre4mer at 01:56 AM on December 4, 2004.
One of those days when i am world wary. It is really tiring to live, but yet so many still go on living. Is it because behind all the tired wariness that there is still hope that at the end of it all things will turn out fine. Or that all is going to be worth it. Well i really hope so because hanging on the the rope, my hands are getting pretty tired yet i am not ready to let go yet. But i need someone to give me a hand to safer grounds soon. The only thing is i can't find my voice to shout for help so no one will really notice anyway. So i wait and occasionally perhaps someone steps near the ledge and i think "hey there are ppl around, so continue hanging on and maybe some one will see you and pull you to safety". And occasionally i feel that after a while more i will have the strength to climb back up so there isnt any need to shout for help anyway.
Well i guess thats the metamaphor of how i feel i guess. Pretty screwed up but ya.
Anyway if anyone has to ask, i failed 2 subjects. It was pretty sien to keep answering the same thing when ppl keep asking one after the other. So there you go. Not unfamiliar yet not used to it either. But the worst is i dont have any feelings towards that. Or maybe i am denying that i actually feel something. But i dunno how to answer that. Apparently they are offering to retake the subjects tat they arent offering next yr for free. Which might be good for me that so that i can fix the results before i let my parents know .......
Anyway life is just so that you have to make decisions that are no where near easy ( well actually i would say it isnt that hard in fact it shouldnt be a need to decide) . I need to work for $$ and i need to study for the paper .... given of course that the fact that they are offering for the retake for free in january is true. So there really isnt any need to decide given the obvious opportunity cost. And the usual that i would xpect coming fr parents mouth is what is the point u work if u dont do well in ur paper when getting ur degree done will give u a better work opportunity. I would have to agree since now things looks much clearer( i tend to think too much anyway). Either way i think i can juggle studying first than getting a job after the paper i hope. And i dont wanna xplain myself, things just arent as simple as it seem neither is it complicated.
cest la vie (tats life)
Well i guess thats the metamaphor of how i feel i guess. Pretty screwed up but ya.
Anyway if anyone has to ask, i failed 2 subjects. It was pretty sien to keep answering the same thing when ppl keep asking one after the other. So there you go. Not unfamiliar yet not used to it either. But the worst is i dont have any feelings towards that. Or maybe i am denying that i actually feel something. But i dunno how to answer that. Apparently they are offering to retake the subjects tat they arent offering next yr for free. Which might be good for me that so that i can fix the results before i let my parents know .......
Anyway life is just so that you have to make decisions that are no where near easy ( well actually i would say it isnt that hard in fact it shouldnt be a need to decide) . I need to work for $$ and i need to study for the paper .... given of course that the fact that they are offering for the retake for free in january is true. So there really isnt any need to decide given the obvious opportunity cost. And the usual that i would xpect coming fr parents mouth is what is the point u work if u dont do well in ur paper when getting ur degree done will give u a better work opportunity. I would have to agree since now things looks much clearer( i tend to think too much anyway). Either way i think i can juggle studying first than getting a job after the paper i hope. And i dont wanna xplain myself, things just arent as simple as it seem neither is it complicated.
cest la vie (tats life)