i am thinking of seeking an exchange with available universities that are partnering with Monash...... Thought of Taiwan ( i can hear rae going "not again") but there was only two uni available and that i havent heard of. The reason i get so hooked up with this is the fact that the feeling of attending the uni that your parents have once been to its really something. I dunno about anyone else but i feel that it is an experience well worth it. I have been there once to visit the place. And i guess its like any other uni which has been here for a looooong time. The buildings are old mixed with some new ones. but u should have seen the lecturer's office. Quite old and some lecturers are still there since my dad left. But the campus is really beautiful, the scenery hasnt changed much since my dad last was there. students getting around with bicycles and all. And the students dorm are still located where it used to be. sports facilities are great. most importantly there is more than one basketball court. if i am not wrong more than three would be more correct. there is tennis court football field and others.

I think if i am able to exchange there its gonna be a crazy experience But there are also other places which i want to go too. like japan korea, where the coutry is more well known for engineering....

But i guess i have to work harder both on my studies and my confidence....... so now i am off to work on my studies

p.s. rae !!! ke ke ke u are invited to J's bbq ... please say u will come .. here is the evidence

Jerm says:
next week remember to invite rae ok.

Jerm says:
cindy and all will be coming too

Jerm says:
so dun worry bout getting bored ok...hehe

this is what i got for searching on mechatronics..... this is from university of waterloo or something in canada

What kind of workload can I expect in first year?

In 1A, there will be 30 hours a week of lectures, labs, and tutorials. Some first year courses will review high school material, but this will be covered at a faster pace and in more depth than at high school. You should also expect to spend about 30 hours per week on homework.

OMG and i thought my 26 hrs a week work load was already something....... oh well

hahah yes i am up and doing my mechanical project since i got my tumb tacks for it. Kinda figured out what is the necessary lengths for the four bar mechanism ( engineering term i think ?? ) anyway its suppose to end up drawing a straight line( to a certain extent) while rotating one of its "members" . Aahahah up to this point i think many of u would have fallen asleep not knowing WTF i am talking about. Anyway i think the straight line is straight to an extent as it is part of a circumference for a huge circle..... ok i will stop now ... although i figure that out throught trial and error i wonder how did oon ee manage to find a way to calculate. oh well geniuses always have their own way of doing things.. ( and by that i am talking bout oon ee)

Haih then after this its back to chemical for me
Oh mission "get present for J" today failed ........ but then figured out wat to get lah ... just that have to get some one to do the dirty work

but maybe we should get him a shirt ....... less erm formal ??


cest la vie

haih logged on to see if he is online to wish him happy bday .... but he is back here so that means he has no connections to be online ... oh well

sigh i cant even believe i am posting this....... its gonna be an eye sore and heart sore and brain sore . not to mention mark sore. chemical engineering test this morning not only did not go well, it flew out of the window and up up into outer-no-where-space. i only managed to calculate one question....... out of i am not sure how many..... the rest was a close eye and point thing.........its like "wait i know how to do this" but my brain is some how to numb to know to start doing what first... its like the brain is trying to do so many thing at one time only to end up not able to respond to any at all...... i need soem organizing skills for my brain... but so far have not found any yet....... sigh..... i will be lucky if i am able to "kai" a few marks out of this..... try some relaxational exercise rite b4 the test maybe

Oon Ee let me listen to this song this morning and i fell in love with the lyrics. Its just so hit a spot.

enjoy......

POSSIBILTY by intoxicated( a malaysian group)


Everytime I look at you
I wish you looked my way
And flash me that dazzling smile that
really makes my day
But of course it's just a dream
a dream that won't come true
and for unrequited love I wrote this song for you
I always think of how it'd be
if we were together
You and me holding hands
(It's a dream)
I can picture it right now
You and me,
It's a dream,
It's a possibility...
When I look out of my window
I hope you look up at me
If only you could read my heart
My love so true you'd see
How empty my life would be
If I don't have you
And for unrequited love I wrote this song for you...
..it's a dream... it's a Possibility...

sadness is all i feel today
there is nothing more that i could say
is this the price i have to pay
for the love game that i play

i wish that i had seen
the situation i was in
going deeper digging in
wishing for something that had never been

my head knows what was best
but my heart won't let it rest
always trying to guess
what he was trying to suggest

a smile, a song, or just one tease
doesnt matter to him the least
although i know about this
becomes something that i can't miss

empty hopes and endless lie
just makes me want to cry
part of me want to continue to try
but the other just wanted to fly

so this is what i try to do
to help get me thru
to put away all my blues
and hopefully my feelings too

i write a little poem
trying to unburden
this hopeless problem


enjoy ppl .... its not often i get the inspiration to write a complete poem at one sitting
although i would say this isnt top notch... i have had better ones

I guess there is nothing to be written bout it since rae.has already wrote about it. The only thing i want to add is i half wished i was thrown into the pool and. But that wouldnt make sense. Anyway other than that yes lower expectations less painful the fall

ok this issue although involves an unmentionable name ( cause rae is going to shake her head ) is not just mainly about him. On a bigger picture its about me past, present and future. Ok i don't know about the rest of you, but i have been reading these bunch of what nots.... stories of how because people did not risk it and follow their hearts they missed out on a chance with some one who feels the same.i wouldnt say its all crap but then again what about those other stories of ppl who got rejected straight in their face. Ok so the question is what is there to loose. But the point is just imagining the possibilty of him saying no is bad enough. To many complications.......


ah see there is my brains doing its work again. I only wish i could by impulse reveal what i feel. Then again the brain part goes... but what if it isnt exactly what u really feel but just some hormones acting up at that time..... its just who i am i guess. I am half envious of daphi cause she allows her heart to lead the way... but only half...

here i am posting in the comp lab for the last time doing my stupid hysys exercise. no i will nv consider chemical engineering. its just not my cup of tea (or coffee with me that is )

just wanted to share this with everyone....
take a peek ... its really sweet... its a flash file... about a girl who ask this boy to sing and he sang for her and so on and so on.... just take a look
click here.

i just read a post which was recently put up and there was two lines from the lyrics of a song that was posted on that blog that seems soo true. its goes like "The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had". the truth to this just hits home. How many people suffer in the name of achieving their dreams. Then why do they still carry on ??? well i guess some how in those suffering there is still a sense of happiness, if not at the moment then sooner or later. Its hard but its also doing somethinmg that you wanted to.

J left me with this crazy fella on msn.... sigh he is always running of suddenly. nv even say he going off. Here is the convo tat took place.
*shakes head*
Jerm says:
I am Jeremy's friend here
Jerm says:
just entered the room
Jerm says:
Hello
Jerm says:
u still there?
*wishing on a purple star* says:
haha
Jerm says:
Dont want to talk to me
*wishing on a purple star* says:
yes ??
*wishing on a purple star* says:
u are ?
*wishing on a purple star* says:
and where he cabut to lah
Jerm says:
I can I ask a personal question
*wishing on a purple star* says:
hahaha depends on how personal
Jerm says:
R u a virgin or not?
Jerm says:
Is it too personal
*wishing on a purple star* says:
hahaha interesting quetsion to be asking some one u just met
*wishing on a purple star* says:
and what would this knowledge be of use to u
Jerm says:
Please pardon me... cause I am not from this culture
Jerm says:
I am not around from here
*wishing on a purple star* says:
and u are from ?
Jerm says:
Thats a good come back by the way...... respect
Jerm says:
Jerm says:
beleive me this knowledge will be useful to me ... once we meet face to face
Jerm says:
Sri Lanka... heard of the place?
Jerm says:
hehehe
*wishing on a purple star* says:
haha yes
*wishing on a purple star* says:
and well if that is so perhaps u might be disapointed
Jerm says:
Nice nick name..."Wishing on purple star"... y the colour purple
Jerm says:
So ur not a virgin....
*wishing on a purple star* says:
hahaha cause there is no such thing as a purple star
*wishing on a purple star* says:
haha well i am
Jerm says:
How old r u?
*wishing on a purple star* says:
but if u are thinking bout me and u getting it on then tat would be disapointing wouldnt it
Jerm says:
Sorry ur a virgin.... typing error
Jerm says:
I like ur attitude..... talking dirty
Jerm says:
I know disapointing...
Jerm says:
I am a very interesting character..... when u see me u want approach me
*wishing on a purple star* says:
hahaha well i am not most girls so there is another disappointment again
Jerm says:
So ur unique.... thats interesting... not like other girls
Jerm says:
So u still never told me ur age?? Have u tried weed b4?
*wishing on a purple star* says:
nope
*wishing on a purple star* says:
not intending to
*wishing on a purple star* says:
19
*wishing on a purple star* says:
btw where is jerm
Jerm says:
U must try it.... its part of campus life
Jerm says:
Ur young only once.... enjoy ur youth..... go & experience life
Jerm says:
Nice age
Jerm says:
Study in Monash?
*wishing on a purple star* says:
yup
Jerm says:
Where do u stay?
Jerm says:
What course?
Jerm says:
Which year
Jerm says:
u might be thinking I am asking too much question.... dont worry I am not a stalker
*wishing on a purple star* says:
i am a local
*wishing on a purple star* says:
1st yr
*wishing on a purple star* says:
haha
Jerm says:
I am just trying to get u know better
*wishing on a purple star* says:
but u havent answered by question
Jerm says:
whats ue question?
*wishing on a purple star* says:
where did jeremy go ?
Jerm says:
Jem wanted to inform u that he eating supper outside
Jerm says:
Do u have a car?
Jerm says:
do u drive to college
Jerm says:
?
*wishing on a purple star* says:
haha nope
*wishing on a purple star* says:
no car
Jerm says:
I dont have much time
*wishing on a purple star* says:
haha y ?
Jerm says:
pls answer my question
Jerm says:
No car..... damn
*wishing on a purple star* says:
y dont u have much time
Jerm says:
Some one here needs to use the comp & I have some work to do
*wishing on a purple star* says:
hahaha
*wishing on a purple star* says:
ok
Jerm says:
Do u do business law?
*wishing on a purple star* says:
nope
*wishing on a purple star* says:
i am in engineering
Jerm says:
Sucky course... only for nerds
*wishing on a purple star* says:
hahah if u say so
Jerm says:
U want to know how I look right?
*wishing on a purple star* says:
haha well i didnt really say anything
Jerm says:
Beleive u nwant approach me once u c me
Jerm says:
I have to go
*wishing on a purple star* says:
hahah not to offend u but u think too highly of urslef
Jerm says:
It was nice chatting to u
*wishing on a purple star* says:
hahaha
Jerm says:
Hope to c u one day
*wishing on a purple star* says:
ok
*wishing on a purple star* says:
bye
Jerm says:
I know I think like that... some times in this world to get around u should have a bit of ego
Jerm says:
Bye

the world is just full of guys like this isnt it. Oh well cest la vie

Ok i guess finally i got the closure i was seeking for. He IS leaving for aus next yr. Everyone is leaving. ....... but that is not the point. No reasons for me to allow it to go on any more. This is the closure i needed to give me the final will to let go.... close to letting go already. Give me a little while more.

As for the everyone is leaving part. Yes u guys are all leaving. I guess i have to start psyching myself up to this change. Hopefully i will survive. I guess u guys also need to psych urselves up to the change. but some how it would be more fun. At least i will find it more fun. Sigh i might even have to get used to sometimes eating alone, but that is a matter of regaining back the abilty to sit down alone and just eat. Hahaha and horors!!!!!! i might be stuck to oon ee more often then he would like it hahaha horrors in his part.I think he will be the one complaining that i drive him stark raving mad. I guess its time to polish up my friends making skills to find me some victims but i guess although at this moment i might not be up to it yet i believe that i look forward to the challenge. People can't stay stuck to a situation forever. Maybe i might discover a few things bout myself and the world while facing this changes. I dunno and will nv find out if i dont embrace it. But nevertheless i am still quite afraid of what its gonna be like. But the good thing i think, is that i am a person who believes in crossing bridges only when u get to it. Even if it turns out horrible i will rough through it some how. the "MIN" way . CHEERS...... but to tell u the truth i was hoping to have him be my company for at least half a yr more. well cest la vie

what is with all this presentations that we have to do ..... sigh when i finally finished my final report presentation for Engineerinf context i thought it was finaly over and i felt so refreshed. But..... horrors ..... came monday we were informed that we are one of the top two groups that did well to be choosen. Probably he liked our design..... sigh..... So now we have to present to a whole bunch of people including eager seniors who wanna see how good we are compared to them last time. ........ But it comes with prizes . Hope it is worth it..... But tension lah.... so many ppl starring holes into us.. there are even proffesionals that are gonna be there .. not to mention professors and all ...... sigh .... i guess i have to look at it from the brighter side. At least this is gonna add up to all my great experiances i was lucky enough to go through.... But seriously when i look back i feel quite lucky that i had so many chances to do stuffs that other ppl might not be able to. Of course compared to other ppl who have more great oppurtunity e.g BOA and also mira its kinda insignificant. But to little old me... its significant enough.....

Anyway a liitle gripe ..... I dunno but i seriously think i frighten j away with my nick just now. OK i said i only felt a tiny weeny bit erm.... the feeling is not sad actually ... its sorta like pai seh.... but then i think about it and i said to myself.... pai seh wat lah u already let go... no intentions of anything also wat.... the nick also not aim towards him..... just put for fun only mah.... if he want to take it the wrong way then i dont wanna give a damn. its his problem....

GOOD ????!!!


ok selesai lah

cest la vie babe

Nothing much... just that i am up studying and me being me again thoughts wandered off some where else. Hahaha. this time cause i was thinking bout food. junk food to be more exact. This memory of how we used to have this indian man on a bike modified with this big box which was divided into many many compartments storing different candies, junk food and toys just came into my head. He was always there at our primary school... i think up till standard 6. And i used to buy stuffs to take home for snacks . Not to forget those bubbles which you blow with a tiny straw and its sort a like a balloon kinda thing. Anyway .... just some random stuffs :p
getting sick of studying but no choice :p
unless i am planning to fail * crosses fingers* hope not

smile, don't frown,
let yourself feel happiness,
unburden your sadness,
leave them here and go....
to the futiure where it holds,
nothing from the past,
although it doesn't gurantee,
that happiness awaits,
sadness will not proceed,


la la la la
dunno what exactly ^ that is but any how take it with a pinch of salt or what ever you like